HAPPY HALLOWEEN! - TOP 10 "THE SIMPSON'S TREEHOUSE OF HORROR" (Sequences) -

    I love Halloween and I love The Simpsons, even after all these years I still never miss an episode! So, the perfect combination is of course The Simpson's Halloween Special "Treehouse of Horror". Since it first aired on Oct. 24, 1990, I have always looked forward to every Simpsons Halloween Special (even though in recent years it has aired in November!) and here CHERNOBOG'S LAIR presents the Top 10 Simpson's Treehouse of Horror (Sequences, not episodes)!

#10 "It's the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse," (Ep. XIX, 11/02/2008) In a homage to the Peanuts classic "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" except this time the great pumpkin comes and goes on a rampage!

#9 "Starship Poopers" (Ep. IX, 10/25/1998) Maggie is the illegitimate child between Marge and Kang, then they end up on the Jerry Springer Show!?

#8 "The Thing and I" (Ep. VII, 10/27/1996) Bart Simpson and his separated conjoined twin Hugo!

#7 "The Island Of Dr. Hibbert" (Ep. XIII, 11/03/2002) The Simpsons are turned into animals in a parody of the "Island of Dr. Moreau"!

#6 "Desperately Xeeking Xena" (Ep. X, 10/31/1999) Bart and Lisa become superheroes and Comic Book Guy becomes the villain The Collector and kidnaps Xena (Lucy Lawless)!

#5 "Hungry are the Damned" (Ep. I, 10/24/1991) This is the first appearance of alien invaders Kang and Kodos, who have appeared in every Halloween special since!

#4 "The Shinning" (Ep. V, 10/30/1994) A Simpsons parody of Stanley Kubrick/Jack Nicholson's version of Stephen King's "The Shining"! And no, I didn't spell it wrong!

#3 "The Devil and Homer Simpson" (Ep. IV, 10/30/1995) Homer sells his soul for a donut, classic!

#2 "Dial 'Z' for Zombie" (Ep. III, 10/29/1992) The Simpsons + Zombies = Awesome! Homer: "Take that Washington! Eat lead, Einstein! Show's over Shakespeare!"
#1 "The Raven" (Ep. I, 10/24/1991) This is and always will be my favorite sequence! As a Simpson's and Edgar Allan Poe fan, this was perfect, although they did shorten the poem it was portrayed beautifully and masterfully read by James Earl Jones!

MOVIE REVIEW: "ZOMBIELAND"

  With the latest slew of zombie-movies since the 2004's "Dawn of the Dead" Zack Snyder remake, it is always a welcome to see a truly original and maybe even funny take on the zombie genre. In the style of the hilarious and groundbreaking "Shaun of the Dead" (2004) rookie director.
   Ruben Fleischer brings a unique spin to the zombie movie with "Zombieland"! Starring Jesse Eisenberg, who coincidentally just starred in the comedy "Adventureland" (2009) as the unlikely and also somewhat un-named (known only as Columbus) main character of a college student struggling for survival with surprising optimism during the zombie apocalypse who meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) a redneck, survivalist with an obsession for Twinkies! Together they make their way across the country trying to survive and kill a few zombies. Along the way they meet Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), two sisters on their way to an amusement park in order to reclaim their lost childhood while they're still alive to enjoy it.
The film is a humorous mix of first person voice-over featuring Columbus' numbered rules for survival and slapstick violence with the usual zombie gore. Through most of the movie we follow Columbus as his take on the whole zombie apocalypse is really only a minor inconvenience as he is usually so easy going despite the hordes of flesh eating undead! This could almost be compared to that of an American version of "Shaun of the Dead" but they are equally as great and funny! Also there is a very surprising and unlikely cameo. Hilarious!

MOVIE REVIEW: "PANDORUM"

     Very rarely do we see a truly original Sci-Fi/Horror film in the style of "Alien" (1979) or even "Event Horizon" (1996, if anybody remembers that one?). "Pandorum" is truly an intense Sci-Fi/Horror movie with plenty of tension and horrors both physical and psychological! Bower (Ben Foster) awakens from suspended animation on the massively, huge spacecraft of Elysium with no memory of who he is or why he's there or how long they've been asleep. Soon he meets Payton (Dennis Quaid) who is supposedly in a similar situation, they try to make sense of the confusion when they soon realize they are not alone on the ship as a strange and vicious race of creatures have been hunting them. Together with a handful of survivors they try to stay alive and find some answers.
    The massive spaceship makes for an incredibly dark and claustrophobic setting for this suspenseful and frightening movie. The hunter/aliens are truly original and terrifying, even their kids are frightening! Ben Foster, who has been coming up in movies recently ("X-Men 3", "30 Days of Night", "3:10 to Yuma") gives an outstanding performance as the unlikely hero. And even Dennis Quaid makes for an especially creepy character.
    This movie got a very small following and limited release, but this is truly a unique film experience that unfortunately went under the radar as it were., This is definitely a must watch for any Sci-Fi or horror fan!

MOVIE REVIEW: "HALLOWEEN 2" AKA "H2" (2009)

    Rob Zombie, former front man of "White Zombie" and now solo artist, embarked on his new passion for horror films. Already a devoted horror film fan he both wrote, produced and directed movies such as "House of 1,000 Corpses" (2003) and "The Devil's Rejects" (2005). In 2007 he released his re-imagining of the popular horror franchise Halloween and gave new life to the Michael Myers killer. Essentially a remake, however Zombie's new version explores more of the psychology and origin of Michael Myers who in the original films remains very much a mysterious character with a very vague back-story. Now, Zombie continues the story with essentially a remake of a sequel to a remake in H2!
    The story begins much like the original Halloween sequel "Halloween II" (1981) with Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) in the hospital following the aftermath of Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) killing spree. But, surprise, surprise, of course: Michael is not dead! The rest of the film focuses three point of views: Laurie's new and traumatized life as she now lives with Sheriff Lee Brackett (Brad Dourif) and his daughter, Laurie's best-friend Annie (Danielle Harris); Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) as he profiteers of his new book about Michael Myers revealing the truth about Laurie being Michael's sister to the world, unbeknownst to her! We also see a little into Michael Myer's life as he has retreated to an almost hermit-like life in the counrty where he is constantly haunted by bizarre visions of his dead mother (Sherri Moon-Zombie) and his younger self (Chase Wright Vanek) apparently Daeg Faerch from the last movie did not return?
    Well, it's Halloween again and Michael Myers is determined to find his sister "Boo" (Laurie) and try to reclaim what family he has left or kill her in the process and what follows is an even more intense and ultra-violent killing spree where the once un-emotional and silent Michael Myers has become slightly more bloodthirsty and determined as he hacks and slashes his way through Haddonfield.
    I must admit I was somewhat taken back by this new direction and the bizarre twist ending that I don't think anyone had imagined. Also, the very disturbing and somewhat psychedelic visions of Michael's mother all clad in white and followed by a white horse adds to the dream-like imagery of the movie. With this odd new direction I wonder if Rob Zombie will continue on with a slew of Halloween's, but perhaps he can go on to more original films. We shall have to wait and see...

MOVIE REVIEW: "G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA"

     With the overblown success of the Transformers movies, the obvious choice for any toy franchise turned into a movie is of course G.I. Joe. If you were born anytime between 1977 and 1990 (and most likely, a boy) you grew up with the 1980's "G.I. Joe". As Hollywood yet again takes everything you loved from your childhood and make it into a multi-million dollar blockbuster and to sell more toys to a whole new generation of kids (and guess what...it's working!).
     M.A.R.S., run by James McCullen/Destro (Christopher Eccleston) is the world's leading weapons technology developer and their latest weapon of mass destruction are warheads containing metal-eating nanomites. As a NATO force transports the weapon, they are ambushed by COBRA, "a ruthless, terrorist organization, determined to control the world!" along with The Baroness (Sienna Miller) and Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) As new recruits Duke and Ripcord join the G.I. Joe team along with Snake-Eyes (Ray Park) and Scarlet (Rachel Nichols), led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid). It's a race against time as COBRA plan to use the nanomite weapon to destroy the major cities of the world starting with Paris and the Eifel Tower.
     The movie is saturated with the usual CGI special effects, over the top action sequences and the typical martial arts fight choreography you would come to expect. But in reality you can't have G.I. Joe without all that. Anyone that complains it's too much special effects or too much camp, obviously never watched the show and enjoyed it. An extra special treat was having Ray Park (Darth Maul in "Star Wars: Ep.I" and Toad in "X-Men") play Snake-Eyes (one of my personal favorites), which was a perfect choice. For a character who never says a word, he definitely made him come alive!
     Despite the hype and obvious mass-marketing aspects of the movie. "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" is a fun and entertaining, action movie. What more do you want from a movie made from toys. I must admit going into this I had my doubts as I was not a fan of director Stephen Sommers ("The Mummy" franchise and "Van Helsing"). But I was a huge G.I. Joe kid since 1983, and I must commend Sommers for staying true to the source material. If you were a fan of G.I. Joe or just want a fun movie experience well, now you know..."and knowing is half the battle." "Yo Joe!"

MOVIE REVIEW: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

    "More than meets the eye"...Literally! I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to seeing this movie. As a kid who grew up in Transformers heyday. And being there in theaters when the Transformers animated movie first came out way back in 1987. And as an adult 20 years later to finally see Transformers come to life in Michael Bay's 2007 blockbuster, it should have been a fanboys dream come true. The 2007 movie was cool, great and a lot of fun (even though Shia LeBouf is so freakin' annoying at times.) Being a huge special effects movie, which it had to be in order to pull off realistic looking robots.
 As successful as it was, a sequal was inevitable, although I don't think any of us were expecting it so soon...I admit that this movie was a special effects nightmare with more explosions, more robots and an even more convoluded story which leaves you breathless and confused at the end, with only the image of a newly enhanced (in more ways than one!) Megan Fox! This is "The Phantom Menace" of Transformers movies and its not even the fourth installment which will most likely be a trilogy. (Look for "Transformers 3: The Search for a Plot" Coming Summer 2011, LOL!) And when I compare Episode I to Transformers 2, I'm not kidding, they even have their own robotic equivallent to Jar Jar, and whats worse: they have 2 of them!! (i.e. Skids and Mudflap)
 I applaud the fact that the story is able to successfully pick up right where we left off 2 years ago, but we don't seem to have improved things any. Sam (Shia LeBouf) is still awkward and annoying, Megan Fox is still a hottie and there is absolutely no reason why she is still with him! Plus, there are even more Transformers like Arcee, Jetfire, Soundwave and the Constructicons...(YAY! More Toys! Sorry, that was my inner 6 year old talking) both good (Autobots) and bad (Decepticons, yeah like you didn't know.) But when is too many, TOO MANY!? If you remember there were hundreds of Transformer robots back in the day and with the resurgence of the franchise thanks to the film, I think the filmmakers are trying to put ALL of them in the movies, no matter how small (i.e. Wheelie) or how BIG (i.e. Devastator!)
 The whole movie is an intense, action packed, thrill ride filled with all the robots and destruction you can handle but while your lost in the mind-numbing, eye bleeding visuals, take a moment and reassess just exactly what the f*** is going on! I didn't the first time either but after leaving the theater, with the THX sound still ringing in my ears and my eyes still straining to see clearly (should I mention I went IMAX, oy!) I said, hey, wait a minute, what did I just see??? (My head hurts.)

MOVIE REVIEW - "WATCHMEN

    “Watchmen” is considered one of the most influential graphic novels of the 1980’s. Written in 1986 by Alan Moore (V for Vendetta, From Hell) and Dave Gibbons (Doctor Who, Green Lantern), “The Watchmen “appeared at a time when America was going through drastic economical and political change. Even after 20 years it continues to influence the world of comic books and graphic novels with its incredibly profound and intense storyline and complex characters. For fans “The Watchmen” remains one of the most important superhero graphic novels of the last 20 years right alongside “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns”, “The Sandman” and as writer/co-creator Alan Moore is considered one of comics greatest modern writers in the same respect as Frank Miller and Neil Gaiman. “The Watchmen” has even earned mainstream prestige with its spot in Time Magazine’s All Time 100 Novels.    With the rise in comic book movie adaptations in the last 10 years there has been some hits (“The Dark Knight”, “300”, “X-Men”, “Spider-man”) and some misses (“Catwoman”, “Elektra”, Punisher War Zone”) but there was one comic property that was considered un-filmable (i.e. “Lord of the Rings”) but on March 6, 2009, Warner Bros. released “Watchmen” Directed by Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead (2004), “300” (2007)) and starring Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Patrick Wilson.    To the uninitiated “The Watchmen” is essentially a murder mystery with superheroes, based in the alternate history of the 1980’s. In the world of “The Watchmen” it’s 1985, and the world stands on the brink of a nuclear war with Russia. America won the Vietnam War and President Nixon is still in office. As in the comic, the main character is Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), once a masked hero and partner to Note-Owl (Patrick Wilson), delves into the murder of an ex-vigilante named The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) As he seeks the truth behind the murder he probes deeper into the lives of both former heroes and partners including Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), and Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman). As far as superheroes go, no one in “Watchmen” actually has any super power except for Dr. Manhattan who has almost limitless god-like powers gained from an accident with a scientific experiment (and did I mention he’s bright blue and nude for 90 % of the movie). In 1985 costumed heroes have retired due to a governmental act and most go on living ordinary lives except for Dr. Manhattan who works for military research with the help of his girlfriend Laurie Jupiter formerly the Silk Spectre (II) and Ozymandias who is now a billionaire businessman and industrialist. The most mysterious and enigmatic character is the fan favorite Rorschach, who possesses a strange white mask which displays various interchangeable Rorschach inkblot patterns. Rorschach is an intense, violent and obsessive character who refuses to give up his costumed persona and lives like a vagrant.
    When Rorschach discovers the identity of The Comedian he begins his search believing that there is a conspiracy to murder former costumed heroes and anyone of his former associates and even villains could be next as he stumbles onto the truth of one of the most convoluted and world shattering murder plots ever which the end result could mean all out nuclear destruction.
    Still considered a new director, Zack Snyder has shown his talent in both horror and action/comic book based movies with the impressive 2005 remake of George Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead” and the adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel “300” in 2007. Zack Snyder has brought the world of “Watchmen” straight from the pages of Moore and Gibbon’s comic masterpiece and brought new life to the story as it most certainly will impress both new and old fans alike. Like any adaptation, there is always the element of revision and change to that of the source material, and like most comic book movies there are always some parts where the directors and writers alter certain aspects of the source material. Already having some experience and success in “300”, Snyder brought Frank Miller’s graphic novel almost literally word-for-word and scene-by-scene to life he has done incredible justice to the book. As with most adaptations of Frank Miller’s works it somewhat disappointing and maybe a little thought provoking of why Alan Moore has completely distanced himself from all of his books turned to movies  such as “From Hell”, “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” and “V for Vendetta”. Although he remains an extremely talented yet eccentric personality, because he has no involvement whatsoever with those stories he unfortunately gets zero credit on the movie as Dave Gibbons, “co-creator” is the only one who gets his name in the credits.    As for the movie itself, it is an intense, deeply thought provoking if not somewhat a little saddened that such a comic masterpiece be made into a movie it both empowers and hurts the comic as it will not likely give the mainstream film goers a completely new experience but will please most fans of the original series. The film version takes much of the original scenes and dialogue right from the pages but the movie does take its liberties with the story as only Hollywood could. Even from the beginning of the movie you can already see every detail has been painstakingly crafted and both the actors and direction is superb. The choice of actors for the various parts are nothing if not perfect even with some of the younger actors chosen for older parts you can see as the past is constantly revisited in numerous flashbacks from the 1940’s to the 1980’s that the illusion of age is very well done with the makeup of the characters.    As for the music used in the film, which is something to be noticed as it draws heavily from nostalgic music especially from the 60’s, ‘70’s and ‘80’s where much of the story takes place. With selections like Bob Dylan’s “The Times, They are-a Changin’” in the opening title sequence, to “The Sound of Silence” by Simon and Garfunkel, “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole, and Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watchtower”, “I’m Your Boogieman” by K.C. and the Sunshine Band, and even the use of “Ride of the Valkyries” during the scenes of the Vietnam War, ala “Apocalypse Now”. As many of these seem obvious others are somewhat perplexing in their placement.
    If you are a fan, there is a strong chance that like me you will be impressed by this movie, however many of the more devoted “fanboys” will be sorely disappointed and unsatisfied with this adaptation, particularly with the alteration of the final scenes of the movie which I will not spoil. This movie is one of those rare films that will change the way people will think about comic book films. The only regret I have is that although I believe this to be an amazing movie, for most people and the mainstream movie audience this will be a perplexing and even confusing film that many will not fully understand or appreciate. For those people who will not get a single moment of “Watchmen” I say have a more open mind and forget everything you think you know about superhero movies and for the fans who expected so much more than a 2 ½ hour, $130,000,000 blockbuster could give.
    So my answer to the ancient “Who watches the Watchmen?” (Juvenal, Satires, VI, 347) the answer is “We Do!”